Eas’side malls, batten down your hatches

This disturbing notice floated across my virtual transom the other day:

 THE NATL WEATHER SVC IN SEATTLE
 HAS ISSUED A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING FOR.

   NORTHWESTERN KING COUNTY IN WEST CNTL WA
   SOUTHWESTERN SNOHOMISH COUNTY IN WEST CNTL WA

 * UNTIL 545 PM PST

 * AT 515 PM PST .NATL WEATHER SVC SPOTTER REPORTED
 ONE INCH HAIL NEAR REDMOND.MOVING NW AT 10 MPH.

 * THE SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WILL BE NEAR.
   KIRKLAND BY 525 PM PST
   WOODINVILLE BY 530 PM PST
   BOTHELL.KENMORE.LAKE FOREST PARK & BRIARCREST BY 545 PM PST.

 LAT.LON 4755 12215 4766 12194 4790 12220 4775 12245

 $$

 GS
 

Good ness! A warning means that there is actually a storm in progress!

Actually, my first thought having seen this and heard some nascent rumbling of thunder was excitement. I do miss Midwestern thunderstorms. However, we Washingtites are not entirely prepared for them. Fortunately, there are not too many trailer parks here. Trailer parks are notorious magnets for severe thunderstorms and their resultant tornados.

The lesser known fact is that in second place behind trailer parks are malls with stores like Walmart, Home Depot, anc Costco — the warehouse stores. For some reason, tornados don’t seem to strike actual warehouses as much as they seem to like toying with warehouse-type stores. Perhaps Nature abhors a bargain. In any case, their high, flimsy ceilings and unreinforced masonry walls offer little protection against violent atmospheric whirlwinds. One is almost better off standing naked in a field with a parachute than trying to take refuge at Home Depot. Once the wind rips through the roof, after all, there are lots of sharp and deadly tools that it can send flying into one’s tender flesh.

Needless to say, the areas covered in the above warning contain lots of warehouse stores. It is the Eas’side, after all. And, if I’m not mistaken, Costco’s omniversal headquarters is located in Kirkland (hence the brand name?). Thankfully, I was nowhere near the Eas’side when this storm came rumbling through.

Fortunately for CostDepotMart, the thunderstorm passed through without incident. The sanctity of our bulk savings has been preserved.

 WAC033-061-110147-
 /O.CAN.KSEW.SV.W.0001.000000T0000Z-060311T0145Z/
 KING-SNOHOMISH-
 537 PM PST FRI MAR 10 2006

 THE SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING CANCELLED FOR SOUTHWESTERN
 SNOHOMISH & NORTHWESTERN KING COUNTIES.

 RADAR INDICATES THE THUNDERSTORM OVER BELLEVUE & KIRKLAND HAS
 WEAKENED & THE THREAT OF LARGE HAIL IS OVER.THUS THE WARNING WAS
 CANCELLED.

 LAT.LON 4755 12215 4766 12194 4790 12220 4775 12245
 
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